What Could Have Been
by Doc Bot
Summary: I never wanted to let her go. I knew from the moment I met her, I had to protect her. Serah...I'm so sorry. This is a major spoiler! This is completely in Noel's point of view. I'm not the best with summaries so just give the story a try?


Hello all my amazing readers, I hope you enjoy my first ever story! Feel free to critique or help me fix errors in the story. Some of the text will match the ending of the game so please don't read it if your going to get a major spoiler. Oh and I'm still new so try not to eat me alive just yet! I'm still learning. Anyways enjoy the story!

"What Could Have Been"

The day that I met her...

The day her life became intertwined with mine, everything about her intrigued me, from her smile to her eyes. Her laugh struck a deep cord within my heart that I had forgot existed. Everything... everything about her was breathtaking from her smile to her laugh. From that day on I knew, I knew I had to protect her. In my heart she became precious to me. So why...

Why couldn't I save her...

I thought after our long and hard journey we could overcome any challenges. Together we could end the Paradox and save the many futures we had seen.

I thought we had saved the past and created a better future. A future were everyone was safe... and no one was alone.

I thought...

I thought I could protect her...

Serah.

I'm so sorry...

"Hey Noel..." She called my name and I turned to look into her eyes. "Thank you." A gentle smile spread across her face and her eyes lite with joy. In my eyes she glowed, how could someone be so beautiful I thought? Everything was great after we... I killed Caius in our final trial. The guilt plagued me, as his death replayed within my mind but it didn't last long, not with her smile filling my heart with warmth. We made it, I repeatedly told myself, and now we could be together, with our friends and families. Everyone would be safe, and everyone could stay happy.

She suddenly gasped breathlessly, and I could see the curse of the seeress consume her. As I watched her body begin to sway, fear and panic began to fill my mind, and I could barely breath as my breath held in anticipation. This couldn't be happening...

I soon found my voice and shouted her name, "Serah?... SERAH!" As she collapsed towards the ground of the air ship, shock, fear, and grief coursed through me and I reached out to catch her falling body. Serah was everything to me, she held my hope's and my dreams. She inspired me, and together we moved towards a better future.

Serah... I'm sorry...

I failed you.

"NO! Not now Serah please!" I remember... I remember thinking, 'This can't be happening, not to her, anyone but her!' I remember the fear and... the pain. I didn't want this! I didn't want her to suffer alone. So why... Why wasn't I strong enough to protect her!

"SERAH!"

I remember the promise I made to her sister Lightning, a great warrior who depended on me, and in a way this promise became my mission. I promised myself that I would protect her no matter what, I would keep her safe, because she became my light, my everything. She's everything I could never be, pure, kind, and filled with hope. She showed me how beautiful a world filled with people could be. She showed me what it meant to have a family and a place to call home, when I had lost my own. When I showed my gratitude for her kindness she took my hands into hers and told me she wanted to save my home, and our eventual time line, seven hundred years into the future. I was shocked, she knew nothing about me and yet... she accepted everything. When I was thrown into my darkest memories, ready to give up and die she was there to save me even though, she herself was afraid. Her voice was able to reach me, when I could no longer hear. She understood my pain, my sorrow, I just wish I could understand hers.

Why... Why couldn't I save her.

'It's all my fault...' Caius... Yuel... Serah... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough...

I'm sorry I...

Clutching her shoulders and bringing her lifeless body closer to mine I could still feel her warmth. My face grew hot as I leaned closer to her body. Grief overwhelmed me and the thought of letting her go pained me. I never wanted to let her go. It hurt...

Sobs tore through my body as I struggled to overcome the pain. I remember this pain as I watched everyone around me die. This was the pain of death, and I was the only one left to remember it. My mind was an endless haze and my body was completely numb.

"Noel?" A familiar voice approached me and called my name. I knew it was a friend but it wasn't the voice I wanted to hear. I shook my head... no...

"But why...?" I could hear the sadness in Hope's voice, and it only made the pain of my failure stronger.

"You were safe, everything was fine." His voice raised in an overwhelmed panic. I could hear so much pain in his words... Hope wanted an explanation, he wanted to fix what was happening.

My voice caught in my throat as I tried to explain, "The future changed. It changed." My eyes gazed at Serah's lifeless body as I continued, "If you change the future, you change the past. The seeress is forced to see it all"

"You mean Serah...she saw this vision?" Hope further quested trying to understand.

"Yes. And it killed her." My voice caught in my throat. It was painful to admit what I was trying, desperately to deny.

"Serah..." I choked out her name as the palm of my hand raised to stroke her still warm face.

"She knew the risk. If we altered the future, she knew what would happen; that her life could be in danger." My palm raised to brush her bangs away from her eyes. "But she still chose to save it. I wanted to protect her... I thought I had. I thought she was safe." Anger mixed into my grief as I raised my eyes to the endless blue sky. It reminded me of her eyes. The sky then began to darken and a strong cold wind hit the interior of the ship. Lowering Serah's body gently to the ground, I rose to stand in defense against this anomaly. I watched as Mog's body suddenly fell to the floor, and my guilt grew. In my overwhelming pain I had forgotten about my third companions existence. Hope quickly caught Mog's body and held him gently.

"The goddess... She is gone, kupo." Mog's faint voice whispered out as the light within his gem faded.

I remembered... Caius and his warning. "The heart of Chaos beats within me, a manifestation of Etro. And should this heart stop beating, the goddess will die once again." Terror griped me, as I clutched my shaking hands together.

"I killed the goddess?" My voice shook and I was left breathless. I fell to my knees shocked. The wind and darkness grew suddenly as Hope and I tried to balance ourselves on the air ship. As the world grew dark only one name reached me.

Serah.


End file.
